New New New New New

I've got it on good authority that tomorrow might be Christmas.........Wish someone had told me......Listen to this, it'll ease your Xmas blues with a combination of fear and loathing........So merry mosesmas you bunch of complete bastards and do a smile like initttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Lets all get drunk

Uncle Jim - Flashback
Elmore James - The sky is crying
Pneu - Grill your eyes
Lee Ranaldo - Here
Hookworms - form and function
Helen Money - Shrapnel
Boutros Babba - Half Chicken
Kites - Baby fawn with broken legs
Ultra Zook - Aluminium C4
Galaxie 500 - Tugboat
Death Grips - Birds
Zach Hill - Hindsight is nowhere
Tom Waits - I wish I was in New Orleans

A rather special broadcast

This is the time of the year when every blogger, writer, critic and general dumbass decides to give you their opinion on their favourite albums of the year, well since I am the definition of the word dumbass I thought I would get in on the act. So ladies and gentle gays, here is a collection of my favourite releases of TWENTY THIRTEEN.Both albums and EP's are included and to be honest they are all bloody brilliant. So download them, have a listen, thank me for introducing you to them and then SMILEYOUBIGBAGOFSHIT....................................................................................

This is really good butttttttttttttttttttttttttt


Melt Bannana - Candy Gun - Fetch
Science Bastard - Jessicant - Fuck Mono
Comanechi - Major Move - You owe me nothing but love
100 Onces - Fucking Guy,No offence - 100 one says
Alpha male tea party - Truffles - Real ale and model rail
Gastric Band - Sexy Grandad
Chelsea Light Moving - Frank O'Hara hit - Chelsea Light Moving
Cattle - Sun fangs and wide eyes - Cattle
The Priate ship quintet - That girl I used to live in - rope for no hopers
Brand Brauer Frick - Skiffle it up - Miami
Axes - Let me tell you something about pepe - Axes
The Fall - Jetplane - Re-Mit
Tamikrest - Imanin bas zihoun - Chatma

New music, new music everywhere

The number one cure for illness is spankingly marvellous music, trust me it was in the bible:

Bible Music

Alpha Male Tea Party - I don't even like hollyoaks
Former Animals - Minneola
Teej - Slow motion summit
Gay Beast - Poly ASX
Experimental Dental School - obscene black torch floating
Arctus Questu - Stalactite Cave,It Sparkles
Half Milk - Last halloween,wish upon a facostar
Mr Peppermint - Raga
Stacking Chairs - Ghastly Giggles
Henry Cow - The herring people
Pohl - Candyass
Jesu - Grey is the colour

Ohhh we're evolving

Being the ambitious buggers that we are, we have decided to branch out into something new. Every month or so a video shall appear, showing our favorite local bands in all their glory. This is an early rough offering, the footage is not great due to a combination of a shit camera and drunken cameraman but it will give you all a slight idea of what we're doing. The first band dull enough to let us do our little experiment are the rather awesome Zinc Bukowski.................So get on it, oh and smile you big bag of shit

Tipmaxe

After a marvellous weekend at arctangent I feel the world needs more musical goodness. Some of which where my fave bands at said festival. On a plus side my shoulder hurts and I like scrambled eggs

Mixtape and what not

The Speaking Canaries - I wear glasses in the most brutal sport ever invented
Divorce - Ancient Catharge
The Pirate Ship Quintet - Horse Manifesto
Three Trapped Tigers - 1
Kites - True
Holy Molar - The night pochohotass spread her land o'lakes
Gallon Drunk - Hanging On
Sincabeza - ...Ni Le equations
Axes - Fleetwood Math
The Naturals - Kilkeel
Theo - I am destructor
Castrovalva - Donut
Hair Police - Freezing Alone

New Mixtape ya bunch of buggers

I've been contemplating things this morning. Why do I smell? Why does brown bread taste like shite? Why is my cat such a chubber? You know, many of lifes unanswered questions. Anyway while contemplating such subjects I've recorded one of these. It's so much better than brown bread

Mixtape made from brown bread


Cleft - Gulch
Antique Pony - Sitting in stevens room listening to drone tapes
Shield your Eyes - Die Slow Blues
Gastric Band - Dustin Binman
Gropetown - Rabs under the bed
The Immigrants - cause a sponge never had a bad day
Smack Wizard - Colonel Mustard
Arthur Russell - You cant hold me down
The Knife - Networking
You Slut - Hiya Higher Hire
Fog - the girl from the gum commercial
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments - Homeowners Blues
Future of the left - he is not a hymn

nEw MiXtApE

I'm recovered from the black lung and my cat is home, lets bloody well celebrate these facts with some marvellous beats. So do me a favour will ya, Smile you massive load of poop

Oh baby a new mixtape

Physics house band - Titan
Massicot - seize
Cattle - whoa bessie
Flower-corsano duo - The drifters miracles
psychedelic horseshit - bring on the curse
Seb Rochford and oliver coates - The boat sails to a blind horizon
Black Pus - The Wicked West
Axes - Jon Bon Jella
Tiny moving parts - along the lakeside
WeAreRomans - Lee Van Cleef
Gummy Stumps - Broken Bach
OM - Pilgrimage
Pens - Know about me

new mixtape

After a quick visit to the gym I'm all buff and sweaty, so I decided to celebrate by popping another mixtape of musical nonsense for all your hine parts to enjoy.......SMILE.....YOU.....BIG....BAG....OF.....SHIT.....

Have some of these eggs

Action Beat - High Action

experimental dental school - our blood is laughing

Barberos - colin and cindys estonian washing machine

Macho Muchacho - Fugados

My Polaris Artillery - to the scaphism

Phat Trophies - Pizza Bone

Poil - Trouille Cosmique

No metal in this battle - hukoko

PVH - Smelly Belly

Weenliz - Fur Bramble

Jesus H.Foxx - Half the man

Pell Mell - Dad's Top Drayer

Bill Orcutt - heaven is closed to me now

Mixtape 9

There's an asbestos tarantula on the loose in cardiff, so before the spider apocalypse lets enjoy some marvellous tunes.

Mixtape yo


Ween - Gabrielle
Dinosaur Jr - Watch the corners
comanechi - die for
computer refrigerator jesus - new 3rd
jardin de la croix - topsys revenge
local girls - east london dance party
Vars of Litchi - Eff Sweet
Brand Brauer Frick - Plastic like your mother
Foetus - Blessed Evening
Pens - Fuckufuckinfuck
Screaming Females - Something Ugly
Bearded Youth Quest - Bannana Flip Flop
Fur Hood - Know the Letters

I've gone all continental with this bad boy, there is atleast 7 different countries on show for your ears here.So sit back, grab your cat by the balls, sip some romanian tea and enjoy

Mixtape 8

Triple School - I'm in Slayer

Gallops - Hongliday

Cop Porn - Socks and Shoes

Bo Ningen - 32 Kaiten

Pens - Yeah baby, I'll take you to bagel town

Barbara and Los Rotos Del Rock - Tu No Sabes Quien Soy

Mr Peppermint - Carp Act

Liars - No Barrier Fun

Kim Deal - Walking with a Killer

Leonard Cohen - Come Healing

sauna Youth - PSI Girls

Blue Sabbath black fiji - it's true

Yoko Ono - I never told you, did I?

The Thermals - our trip

Oh bloody flip flaps, many months ago the beautiful banner you see at the top of this page was designed and donated to me(in exchange for oral love) by a Mr Michael 'BubleBubleBuble' McCann. So this is his thank you message

Better late than never hey ya big sex fiend

It's a cold and dank morning here at Shit empires, so I thought, to celebrate the passing of the snow and the dawning of an era of flooding, I would throw another of these little mansapians out there. I have a feeling this is going to grab you by the scrotum and let go only in the event of death of severe toothache. Anyway have some of these eggs, and smile you big bags of shit

New mixtape 7

Here's the bloody tracklisting like:

Explosions in the Sky - A poor mans memory
Sonic Youth - New Hampshire - 06mins 07secs
Can - bring me coffee or tea - 11mins 16secs
Butthole Surfers - pittsburgh to lebanon - 18mins 01secs
Gallon Drunk - Perfect Dancer - 20mins 10secs
liars - loose nuts on the velodrome - 26mins 06secs
nick cave & the bad seeds - jubilee street - 28mins 22secs
rodriguez - crucify your mind - 34mins 47secs
scott walker - dimple - 37mins 17secs
Pens - 1-2 - 43mins 55secs
sebastien rochford & pamelia kurstin - hop - 45mins 24secs
Steel Pole Bath Tub - Misty Mr Blowtorch - 50mins 14secs
Leadbelly - Looky looky yonder/black betty/yellow womans doorbell - 53mins - 47secs

new mixtape number 6

It's been a while, but here is the 6th musical offering from you shitheads

MIXTAPE

Tracklisting

Son House - John the Revelator 
Shellac - Copper - 02mins 35seconds 
Dinosaur Jr - Dont pretend you didn't know - 04mins 20seconds 
The Evil Tambourines - Green Sector 2 - 09mins 46seconds 
Slint - Rhoda - 12mins 20seconds 
Elliot Smith - Condor Ave. - 19mins 15secs 
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - The moon is in the gutter - 22mins 46secs 
The Fall - My ex classmates kids - 25mins 18secs 
Gonja - Gonjafingers - 30mins 08secs 
Soweto Kinch - Can't hold me down - 33mins 19secs 
Food - Chanterelle - 36mins 49secs 
Slug Guts - Cold Bones - 40mins 26secs 
Swans - Song for a warrior - 43mins 09secs